Group Writing Critique: BABY KILLER by Laurel Leigh
Dear Writers:
Here’s the latest dogfight post from Dogpatch Writers Collective:
Group Writing Critique: BABY KILLER by Laurel Leigh.
xo Laurel Leigh
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Dear Writers 
Laurel,
I think that you’re asking for feedback. I tried to register and got lost.
I don’t do any social media kinds of things – so don’t get the technology.
Anyhow, I just read the short part and will offer some suggestions: They are all wonky, detailed suggestions – hope you don’t mind that kind of feedback. I’ll just offer each suggestion on a separate line – I think you’ll get what I’m doing…
woke up, threw up (eliminate and) it was unrelated (eliminate aftermath) wrong (eliminate with him) Another time, my sister’s odd (eliminate word and change word)
Laurel, hope this isn’t presumptuous and out of context. I’m always working to shorten and simplify what I write…so I’m making those kind of suggestions for you.
I’ll be in LA for this next poetry night…and I think that there isn’t one in December…so, hopefully see you in January. I’m planning on taking two writing courses at Western Winter Quarter.
Best wishes, Harvey
On Sun, Nov 18, 2012 at 8:26 PM, Dear Writers wrote:
> ** > Laurel Leigh posted: “Group Writing Critique: BABY KILLER by Laurel > Leigh.”
Hi Harvey,
Thanks so much for reading and for your notes. Good luck in LA!